We Were Soldiers Once...and Young

Andi here!

I'm so excited to see all the great points Lara shared with us...isn't she a great writer?! LLC is very blessed to have her.

I've been very busy this summer getting ready for an upcoming deployment. Our CO recommended reading the book 'We Were Solders Once...and Young'...so I did.

Let me tell you, my friends: that book changed my way of thinking completely.

I'm a very emotional reader. I become engulfed in the emotion of a story to the point that I find it hard to extract my mind from it long after I put the book itself away. The words on these pages impacted me in a way that I can't fully explain.

The book itself is the account of General Hal Moore's unit during the Battle of Ia Drang. Effectively, this was the first major battle of the Vietnam War. The men in his company faced carnage and slaughter like few of our trrops today even dream of. Their story is not for the weak stomached or fainthearted, but if you push through to the end, you are rewarded with a feeling of affection and understanding for these great soldiers. Their ordeals at LZ X-Ray and LZ Albany pull you in; you hope for their survival and pray for their families. Several times I had to wipe tears off the pages as I read.

I am not a military member. I work in Family Readiness, but I am not in the military myself, nor have I ever been. Therefore, I have only a wife's understanding of the feeling of camraderie and brotherhood that carries brave men and women through extended periods away from home. I am not one of them, only a close observer.

This book gave me a feeling of what it is like to be an insider- to know the hurt and pain of losing someone you were fighting to save. To translate that so powerfully and effectively is a great gift to us as military families. We often sit and wonder what the attraction to this lifestyle is for our warriors. From our standpoint, they are rarely home, work long hours, are consistently in danger, have high levels of risk, miss their kids growing up and always have that chance of not returning to us.

I see now, after experiencing such a life-altering battle through their eyes, that it really isn't about any of those things. It's about honor. Integrity. Knowing that you are the best qualified to do your work and doing it well regardless of the cost. Patriotism. Love.

All these things keep swimming through my head as I revisit ther time in the Ia Drang. When faced with their experiences, I find no confusion in the idea that some of them will never want to relive those times.

This brings me, jolted by inspiration, into the present day.

How many of us live with returned warriors? How many, if any, of us get their whole story upon their return?

This often bothered me when my husband came home from his several past deployments. I would only get part of the story, only hear the funny parts, never the real meat of the mission. I was always angry that he didn't 'trust' me enough to share those experiences with me.

Now I get it.

Some things you just can't fathom unless you were there, in the moment, in the field. In the air. In the tent. In the bunker.

Our place is to hold up the home front. It's called a 'front' for a reason, as it must be defended and cared for in a way much similar to those that our warriors defend. The difference? Just as we tell them 'You have no idea how hard it was while you were gone', they will tell us 'You have no idea the hell that we walked through to get home to you'. And if we care enough, we will accept them at their word because both sides are correct- we will never know the pain of the other. But perhaps...

...that is why it all works.

Pride and...Prejudice? And a free giveaway!

I'm late to the party - but it's better late than never, right?

Andi asked me awhile back to write about something both near-and-dear and also slightly dreadful to my heart…our common threads as military loved ones (spouses, girlfriends, BFFs, moms, etc.)

Why dreadful? I'm a bit protective and proud of my chosen branch, the United States Army. As far as I'm concerned, no other branch comes close!

Why near and dear? Well, long before I strapped on my black Army combat boots, I was counting "Go Navy, Beat Army" among my first phrases. Don't tell my husband!

Seriously, though, growing up Navy, joining the Army, and currently living in an Air Force town really brings some perspective to my world. Honestly, my world IS the military. My mom was the epitome of a Navy wife - and I realize now there's remarkably little difference from what I do now as an Army wife, besides the concept of email and the interwebs, and the way today's world affects the average military family.

So now you know a very little about me - as a bit more, I grew up a Navy kid, I joined the Army, I married another Soldier, I went to war, twice, I got out of the Army (well, I'm still in the Reserves), and I traded my camouflage for khakis and oxford shirts as an Army civilian working with Army families. I live in post housing and I shop at the commissary and I get out of my car at 5pm to honor my flag and nation as Retreat is sounded.

You, like me, probably have your intense pride and commitment to your branch. Don't lose that! My entrenched Navy family and I may not talk much in the first week of December (Army-Navy game…and the Black Knights are going to kick some butt this year! Really!) but otherwise we're a mighty supportive and similar bunch. For what it's worth, here are my thoughts:

(1) It's ok to be proud. Each branch does its part, and the mission couldn't be successful without yours. While I was in Iraq, I may have seen mostly Army Soldiers and Marines on the ground, but it was the Air Force who flew us and our supplies in and out, and it was the Navy providing indirect fire and aircraft support from the surrounding seas. And that's only the broad strokes - I happen to know plenty of Airmen and Sailors who played a much more hands-on role on the ground than their branch typically necessitates. I bet you've known someone who's had a non-traditional role in the military, too. Bottom line, each branch is necessary to make this nation so powerful and successful.

(2) Deployments and training exercises are hard for everyone. Fact of life. Whether it's three months or eighteen months, military families bear a lot of stress and pain while they're separated from their men and women in uniform. Your particular servicemember may be in the air, underway, or boots-on-the-ground, but they're away from you and they likely have some element of risk to their job…and it isn't much fun being left behind. It's easy to compare notes and look down on others ("they don't have it nearly as hard", "can you believe they only got deployed to THAT location", "why do they complain so much, they signed up for this", "if they were smarter they would have joined THIS branch", etc.) but ultimately all our servicemembers signed up to serve this nation. The details are nothing but divisive. Deployments stink, regardless of your branch.

(3) All the branches have become remarkably more supportive of military families since war brought us to the forefront of the media. Terms like "Family Readiness Group" and "Ombudsman" are pretty common in each of our worlds. If it's not common to you, I hope it becomes more common soon! These are great opportunities to volunteer and connect and STRENGTHEN yourself and other military families.

I've been watching a friend's copy of Army Wives and…I'm hooked. I really didn't want to be. I thought it would be hokey (it kind of is) and too much like real life (it is) but there's something about this military life that keeps us going. Andi and I have compared notes a LOT in the last several months and realized how much more effective we are when we work together with folks who have been through it. It's comforting that she's dealt successfully with things that I've struggled with recently, and vice versa. Ultimately, that's why we're here on LLC.

In honor of my first post, I have a free giveaway to offer you! It's a copy of a FANTASTIC book by Jacey Eckhart, called The Homefront Club. This is one of the most practical, honest-to-goodness books I've encountered about military life. It's written from a Navy perspective but works well for any branch, as far as I can tell.

How can you win this copy? Thanks for asking :)

I'm not really well-connected or well-off enough to ship a freebie anywhere just yet, but Military One Source is! Not registered on M.O.S. yet? Super easy. To find yourself this book, click on this link OR follow these simple instructions:

Go to www.Militaryonesource.com

Choose your branch -> Click on Find Information (top right of page) -> Choose Family and Recreation -> Then click on Recreation and Shopping -> Next click on Library -> Nonfiction -> The Homefront Club

While you're at it, check out some of the other offerings. MilOneSource offers up to 10 free books in a year's period. They offer even more resources, like free counseling, financial and health guides, and…well…why don't you just check out the other things yourself when you go get your free copy of The Homefront Club?

It is completely free - no credit card needed, just registration and mailing address. I know because I received a huge package of various books a few short months ago. This is a super website - if you like it, make sure to tell your fellow military pals all about Military One Source.

Looking forward to sharing some of this crazy military life - and its best practices - with you in the future. This is Lara, signing off - have a great week!