Transition

The bane of military life? Maybe.

Tranisition comes for all of us in this business. It comes at great times; it sneaks up on us at 3 AM. Every time it comes, it wears a different face. Sometimes a move, sometimes a deployment. A school change, a new command, a news state.

Sometimes it's just a transition in our relationship with our warrior.

I occasionally wonder how other people handle these changes. Family resiliency instructors teach us about the cycle of deployment:

Stage 1 – Anticipation of Departure


Stage 2 – Detachment and Withdrawal

Stage 3 – Emotional Disorganization

Stage 4 – Recovery and Stabilization

Stage 5 – Anticipation of Return

Stage 6 – Return Adjustment and Renegotiation

Stage 7 – Reintegration and Stabilization
 
It's return adjustment and renegotiation that concerns me most.

How many of us have done this:

Homecoming is over. The kids are back in school, DH is back at work and we are all holding together pretty well. It's so great to have him home. I didn't miss the way he throws his dirty laundry everywhere, though. I'll have to talk to him about that. And the way he snores...oh my goodness, he'll keep you up all night. He leaves the cap off of the toothpaste, too. That's so annoying.

I wonder if he has even paid attention to how great everything looks; how hard I worked while he was gone. I bet he didn't even notice that there were no weeds in the flowerbed. Maybe I'll just keep on doing the yardwork...he never really does it right, anyway. It's just another excuse for him to be outside away from us. Now that I think about it, he's been away from us a lot since he got back. He always seems to be heading out with the boys or mowing our grass or something so he's not in the house with me.

Maybe we're not adjusting so well after all.

Anyone?

Familiar notes stream through that little song every time I hear it. Coming home is no joke, my friends. Sometimes it's harder than leaving. Think for a moment: are you the same person you were six months ago? Is your warrior? And finally:

Should you expect them to be?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts.